Tuesday, 31 December 2013

New Year's Resolution

Time really flies and tomorrow it's gonna be 2014 already!

2013 has been a really fast year for me and I can't believe it's gonna be over so soon already!

And since a new year is beginning soon, it's time for some new year's resolution and reflection!!

This year has been a pretty stressful year for me! I was worried about whether my poly GPA will get me successfully admitted into a local university and when I do got into NTU, life in there was MUCH more stressful than I expected. Even more stressful than my poly life.

I was certainly not prepared enough for my university life and the exam results I've gotten for my first semester just shows how much I was not prepared for it. 

I still remember coming out of the exam halls with the exam papers in my hands and a heavy heart because I did so badly that I was totally speechless and upset with myself. Speechless because I really did put in a lot of effort into studying for all my modules and upset because after all those efforts, I still didn't do well. 

Out of the 5 exam papers I had, there were 3 that I did so horribly that I just can't hold my emotions in me any longer and had to phone my mom (I called her after I finished each of my papers so in total 3 times) and tell her that I'm gonna fail and I want to quit school because I wasn't confident about even passing the exams. 

In my heart, I was totally thinking of quitting school at that point in time and go to work like many of my poly friends are doing now because I don't want to waste my mom's hard earned money in my university education when I can't even do it well. 

But she did not give up on me even though I have given up on myself at that point in time. She even go all out to bringing me to Korea (Korea because she knows I love Korea with all the KPOP, food and skincare stuffs) this coming January (3rd Jan to be exact) just to cheer me on and not give up on myself in my studies. 

Going to Korea is not cheap at all and I was really worried that it would be very taxing on her so I asked her if she was sure about going to Korea. But she just cooly says "It's okay. I know you've worked very hard. Let's just go to Korea and relax for awhile. But you'll have to promise me to work hard and never give up in your coming semesters okay. Even if you graduate without honors, it's fine. It's still better than being without a degree." (sobs :( ) 

I am speechless again. Speechless by her strong and positive attitude. Speechless by her efforts and encouragement she has given me. There is no words that I can use to describe how touched I was by her, how much I appreciate for all the things she has done for me and how ashamed I feel about myself for giving up so easily when she did not give up for all the hardships she has been facing at work for so many years just to support me. (Sigh, I'm tearing up right now while writing this blog post)

Hence, I'm really thankful for what my mom has done for me and I feel really lucky to have her as my mother. Thanks mummy and I know you love me even though you never say it. I love you as well even though I also never say it in front of you.

I'm also very grateful to have ma boy cheering me on during my hard times and for coming all the way to NTU just to have a lunch and/or dinner with me before I have to go back to mugging again during the exam period.  

Therefore, for the coming year 2014, I'm gonna so work my ass off to nail all my modules even way before the exams approaches so that I won't have to face this kind of situations anymore and I will not allow myself to disappoint my mom again. 

I would like to incorporate a good habit of exercising at least once a week for next year also!!! haha It is important to stay fit and feel healthy (or be healthy) :)

2014 please be a good year!!! HWAITING HWAITING HWAITING!!!



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